Dark Days and Times of Love
It has been quite some time since I've contributed anything to these reflections. November 2, 2004 was a Dark Day if ever there was one in American history or, should I say, World history. It took me days to "recover" from the election, if such a word can be used. I joined with millions of other people around the planet in a global depression. It was, and is, a time of mourning.
Many thoughtful writings have been offered, expressing a sense of outrage, and sometimes hope. Since that time, and actually long before, I have continually asked myself what I can do to affect any kind of positive change. I am still asking myself. I do not have any definitive answers.
Robert Sardello (School of Spiritual Psychology) has suggested that this age of nuclear annihilation demands that we learn to love when we can find nothing to love. This notion has turned over and over in my thoughts, like a koan that brings us to another level of awareness. It has "saved" me (just barely) from despair, many times, realizing that my despair - or lack of love - brings me right to the place that can teach me the most about love.
Perhaps this is, indeed, one of the best things I can do: to learn to love when I can find nothing to love. With this ability (which I must renew each and every day, sometimes with each and every breath) I have a better chance of refusing to be used as fodder, eaten alive by the monstrous hatred, greed and fear that is overwhelming our world. Perhaps, with this ability, I am better able to bear the dissonance that threatens to rip us apart, body, mind and soul.
I often feel this near ability is the only thing that keeps me alive. This, and the desire to bring into form that which is fueled by something greater than myself. Sometimes, this is the work I do with people. Sometimes, this is the act of making an image - written, visual, kinetic, or of memory....I have found memory to be such a gift, especially flesh memories, as I have described below. They can connect me anew with the sweetness and beauty that become invisible in despair.
Until I learn what more I will do, these efforts alone require great strength on my part. It is not quite enough, I know, but out of these efforts, perhaps something true can arise.